Unique Gift Giving on a Budget

“The good guest is almost invisible, enjoying him- or herself, communing with fellow guests, and, most of all, enjoying the generous hospitality of the hosts.”--Emily Post

When in doubt, ask Emily.  It is an honour to see a bride and groom, who are well suited for each other, pledge their lives to one another.  As a guest, I am there to say that I believe in what they are doing, that I am a witness to the goodness of this day, and that I will help in whatever way I am able.  With that said, I can't tell you how many weddings I have decided not to attend simply because I could not afford a gift.

Though it is no longer customary to give a gift that equals the amount the bride's parents will spend on you as a guest at the wedding, it is still customary to bring a gift (Thank you, Peggy Post for amending that rule of your mother's).  If you are able, by all means, stick to the registry.  However, just because you don't have a lot of money or you spent all of your gift money on traveling to the wedding, doesn't mean you can't give the bride and groom something lovely.   

The difference between spending a lot of money and looking like you spent a lot of money is creativity.  Thankfully, for those of us who don't have a lot of money to spend, our favorite stores like Anthropologie and Restoration Hardware have taken things which are beautiful and simple and have made them elegant and luxurious.  

Following are 4 beautiful and simple gifts, which will cost less than $10.  

1. Vintage Tea Linens

Find old hankies at antique stores, flea markets, and ebay.  I bought these for $1 each at The Madison Flea, which is an antique store with flea market prices.  Compare these to Anthropologie's Chit and Chat napkins, which are $8 each.  Add a personal touch with a recipe for English Scones.  If you still have a little left over cash in your budget, a nice additive to this gift would be Emily Post's book on Entertaining, which you can buy used on Amazon for 1 cent--or new for $20.

2. Vintage Apron
If you buy actual vintage aprons they'll run between $3 and $12 (compare that to Anthropologie's aprons, which look like vintage aprons and cost between $30 and $40).  I found this apron at The Madison Flea for $5 and paired it with this sweet yellow spatula.  For a personal touch I included a few of my favorite recipes.  Should you have a little more cash left over in your gift budget you can pair this gift with Bought, Borrowed, Stolen by Allegra McEvedy, Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child, or The Fanny Farmer Cookbook by Fanny Farmer

3. A Framed Invitation
 If you're going to the wedding I'm guessing you got the invitation.  Find a lovely old frame.  I bought this vintage metal frame at Music City Thrift for $2.  Choose a complimentary fabric or paper and use it as the background.  I used this lovely old hankie I purchased at Madison Flea for $1.

4. A Jar full of Knobs
Ignore the name and just walk in--Hobby Lobby has an aisle full of cool knobs, all priced from $1.50-$6.00 (compared to Anthropologies knobs, which run $6-$12 each).  This is a collection of 12 porcelain knobs in a Ball Canning jar.  I bought them for $1.50 each (ok, ok, if you buy 12 then it's going to be $20 instead of $10.  So, just buy 6 if you need it to stay under $10).

The Mean Reds Never Looked So Good

The most expensive dresses I own are the ones I never wear.

Coco Chanel's "Ford" dress

Brandon and I attended a cocktail party at a swanky club last night.  My grand dilemma?  I hadn't purchased a cocktail dress since 2007.  And now it's 2011.  And even though my dress wasn't that outdated, the hemline was all wrong.  Then I remembered a story I had heard my grandmother tell.  The year was 1937.  The United States was just climbing out of the great depression when another recession happened.  That was the same year my grandmother had one of her major recitals (she was a classical Soprano).  My great grandmother was faced with an important night and nothing to wear.  So what did she do?  She found her old velvet dress that, by this time, was worn in the places dresses tend to wear on women.  She took it apart, turned the material inside out, adjusted the sleeves to the fashions of 1937 and put it back together. Then she attended her daughter's recital as a prim, proper, and stylish lady.  No one had the slightest idea that she was wearing her dress inside out.

Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel introduced her "Ford" line of simple, black dresses to Vogue in the 1920's.  Before the 1920's black was reserved for women in mourning.  After the 1920's black was for the tasteful, sensual woman.  And, luckily, for those of us who attend a cocktail party every 2 years, the little black dress maintains it's shape, while the hemline and sleeves go up and down, out and back in.

So, instead of buying a new little black dress every 2 years so you can wear it once, consider taking your old little black dress to your tailor and having her lift the hemline, cut off the sleeves, and adjust the waist.  Look at it this way: Would you rather pay $20 or $200?

1930

1951

1961

Yes, the dress was really
lovely when you guys
walked down the aisle
of Kim's wedding.  But,
really,  what are you going
to do with this giant dress?
Simple. Cut it off.

Betseyville Yes: making use of vintage sheets

see Betseyville at Paradise Properties

For the low, low price of $600,000 you can be owner of Betseyville--Betsey Johnson's villa in Mexico.  I'll be honest, I love Betsey Johnson.  And though I'll never be as funky, or have hair as pink, or walk in heels as high as she does, I like to know I have the option.  And though I could never afford her personally designed and staged villa in Mexico, I find comfort in knowing it's there for the taking.

For those of us who can't afford villas, much less a plane ticket just to go down and see Betseyville, much much less a Betsey Johnson dress, we must make due with our own spaces, filling them with things that make us feel beautiful.  I love Betsey Johnson's vintage inspired flowers and colors, which is what made me drool over the photos of Betseyville.

Let's face it, when you're $600,000 short, you've just got to make due, which is why I've been exploring the beauty of vintage sheets.  If you find them at the thrift store they'll cost you about $0.50 to $5, which, if you ask me, beats buying a villa you can't afford to look at.

save money by going vintage for your bedding.
Or cut up your vintage sheets to make curtains

Use your sheets as a tablecloth

Use a vintage sheet for your shower curtain.

Since most vintage sheets come in twins and fulls we may have to make a few revisions .  Following are instructions for how to finish your sheets so they may adorn your windows and tables.  A sewing machine and iron are required.

Step 1: Cut your sheet to the appropriate size, leaving 2-3 inches on each side for your hem.

Step 2: fold the edge of the fabric over by 1 inch and iron.  We'll call this side the western side of your sheet.

Step 3: Fold the fabric over again and iron

 Step 4: Sew the ironed part to make a hem.  Follow steps 1-4 for the Eastern side of your sheet.  Then do steps 1-4 for the Southern part of your sheet.  If you are making curtains, go on to step 5.  If you are making a table cloth, repeat steps 1-4 for the Northern side of your sheet.

Step 5: To make a curtain, do step 1 to the Northern side of you sheet, then fold the sheet over again, this time by 3 inches, and iron.  Sew it.  You will insert the curtain rod through this space.

If you guys decide to try this I would love to see what you come up with.  Please tell me if you can think of any other uses for beautiful vintage sheets.

A Cup 1/2 Full of Bargains (OR) A Cup 1/2 Empty with Bargains: my favorite liquidation stores in Nashville

"Don't hate me because I'm a brooksy biscuit!
This urban set is the cat's pajamas! But I'm no
 kluck because I gander in orchids at UAL!"

Whenever I go shopping, the ensuing conversation with my husband goes something like this,

Me: I found the best deals today!

Brandon: Oh?

Me: I saved us so much money!

Brandon: No, I don't think you saved us any money.

Me: Yes I did.  

Brandon: No you didn't.

Me: Yes I did.

Brandon: No you didn't.  How did you save money when you spent it?

Me: Because I bought things we needed at 30% of the retail price, which means I saved us money.

Brandon: Spent money.

Me: I'm sorry your cup is half full.

Maybe we're spending money, maybe we're saving money.   I'll let you decide that for yourself.  However, whether your bargain bin is 1/2 full or 1/2 empty, you're sure to find something that delights at these great bargain stores.   

To those of you who live far from Nashville, I am sorry.  This is another Nashville-centric post.  However, it might just be another reason to put Nashville down on your list of vacation spots.

1. Essex on Nolensville

This place is amazing.  The other day I bought a Cuisinart coffee machine, a kitchen-aid food processor, a Culligan under-the-sink water filter, a memory foam overlay for my bed, and a cute grey t-shirt (I couldn't help it--I'm addicted to grey t-shirts) all for $90.  When looking for new appliances, bedding, electronics, or things for your baby (3 aisles full of baby things), Essex is where you want to go.  Essex is a liquidation store, which features slightly defective, overstock, and closeout items.  Before purchasing, make sure you open the box and check out your appliance, as some appliances are there because of defects.  

2. UAL (United Apparel Liquidators) on West End

Tired of your Michael Kors knock-off?  Why don't you get a real one?  Not possible you say?  Well, you simply haven't been to UAL.  UAL is a wonderland for those of us who love pretty things, but can't afford them.  You may not need a Rebecca Taylor dress for your birthday bash, but it sure would be nice.  Well friends, UAL has made your birthday dreams come true. UAL is a liquidation store, featuring high-end brands at rarely seen prices.  During one of their sales I got 4 pairs of Paper Denim Jeans for $6 and an Of Two Minds blouse for $20.  UAL features brands from Diesel to Spanx, from Alice and Olivia to Dolce and Gabanna, from Burberry to Versace, and much more--all for low liquidated prices.  As with Essex, you'll want to inspect your piece to make sure there are no defects, as some of the pieces are there because they have been snagged, stretched, or make-up'ed.  However, other pieces are just there to be liquidated, which is about as good as it gets.

3. Marty and Liz Shoes in Coolsprings and Tullahoma

I once read a study which concluded that women who looked at beautiful shoes produced the same chemicals as they did when looking at beautiful  men.  After going to Marty and Liz I believe them.  Marty and Liz features a wide array of shoes such as Nike, Stewart Weitzman, Joan and David, Converse, Clarks, Steve Madden, Coach, Aldo, Kate Spade--you name it.  With the exception of higher end shoes, most shoes are under $30.  Who knows, you might need some cute shoes to go with that new Rebecca Taylor dress from UAL.

4. Southeastern Salvage in Berry Hill

Southeastern Salvage is a great place to buy urns, fancy pots, strange and ornate art for your lawn, and things you'll need for home improvement such as hardwood, tile, countertops, copper hoods and bathtubs (yyyeeessss) and cabinets--and all for a fraction of the retail price.  

5. Old Time Pottery in Murfreesboro and Madison

With glassware and plates starting at $0.30 and few exceeding $5, it's hard to find a better deal anywhere else on your table settings.  Old Time Pottery also features a wide array of holiday items as well as furniture, silk flowers, kitchen items, and home decor.

6. Deals

Deals is another liquidation store, which features an array of household necessities like toilet paper, soap, and trashbags. They also have an interesting collection of products from home shopping channels.  

Monday Give Away!! Write a letter, save a post office.

Our RSVP card.

Brandon and I just celebrated our first anniversary.  Wow.  Has it already been a year?   In one year so much has happened, yet it feels as if I was walking down the aisle to Smog's "Let's Move to the Country" no more than 3 months ago.

In one year we have gotten married, both transitioned out of our old jobs and into new ones, have ended one business,  have started a new business, and as if that wasn't enough--we decided to open a shop, too.  Brandon and I just opened This Oktipus Printing Company, a letterpress stationery store in the heart of East Nashville.  This is why I haven't been blogging.  Every spare moment has been dedicated to this little shop.  We feel so blessed to be doing this.

Old Odd Fox Cards

In light of all the things mentioned, the standard gift for a one year wedding anniversary is paper.  So, I feel it is only appropriate to give away paper for the Monday giveaway.  I will be giving away a set of 5 Old Odd Fox notecards and envelopes.  Say hello in the comments below and I will enter you into the drawing.

Also....if you print this blog out and bring it to This Oktipus Printing Company by December 22, Brandon and I will give you 20% off of your total purchase (this does not apply to special orders).

We are located at 1108 B Woodland Street.  Monday through Saturday 11-6ish. For the holiday we will be open on Sunday from 12-4.

For those you who live out of state you can visit our Etsy. E-mail Brandon before you purchase to tell him to discount your purchases.

Buy this, Not that, part II

a continuation of Buy this, Not that, part I

As I have expressed many times, I have a crush on Anthropologie.  Sometimes when I'm sad I go to Anthropologie and walk around and pretend like I can buy whatever I want (and when that doesn't do the trick I hop over to Whole Foods and sample cheese, cherries, and olives).  I love everything about Anthropologie, excepting, of course, their prices.

Sometimes you just have to spring for that perfect dress and invest in something that makes you walk like a lady.  However, if you're in the business of having cake and eating it too you might be better served by buying your basics elsewhere.

Following are a few items from my favorite stores.  Below the items are their less expensive counterparts.  Enjoy!

Anthropologie $168

Target $20

Urban Outfitters $69

Target $20

Urban Outfitters $89

Nordstrom $17

Urban Outfitters $69

Nordstrom $26

super soft tee from American Apparel $24

equally as soft tee by Thread 4 Thought $10

Buy this, not That, part 1

Buy this, Not that.

I heart Anthropologie; I do not heart their prices.

Don't think for a moment that I am telling you not to shop at Anthropologie.  However, there may be a few things that are better purchased at another store.  Since many stores import their goods, there's a chance they may be buying from the same countries or even vendors.  Take a look at these (and try to see past the poor quality of Pier 1's pictures):

You want Fryes with that?: Guerilla Shopping

There are few things more satisfying than digging through junk and uncovering a treasure.  This is why I love the Goodwill outlet.  And let's face it, the Goodwill has just gotten too expensive (kidding--sort of).

Vintage Fryes from the 80's

The Goodwill outlet is open every Sunday from 11-6.  Not only do they sell clothing for $1.34 per pound, but people from all around the globe happen to show up at this little hub.  It's quite the cultural experience. 

And most weeks it really is just junk....but not last week!  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, my vintage Frye's, purchased for the low, low price of $1.34.  (this is also where Brandon and I got our $10 wrought iron antique bed--I'll post pics later).

These are the rollable bins of glorious things

Following are the rules for the Goodwill Outlet.  It is crucial that you obey each one:
1. Your buggy is fair game until you put something in it.
2. You may not touch anyone's shopping cart.  Even if it's blocking the path it would be better to go out of your way than get into a fist fight with the pusher of the cart.  Trust me.  It will happen.
3. The Goodwill Outlet doesn't have any shelves--it merely has rollable bins full of glorious things.  When they roll a new bin out everyone clusters around it.  You may look, see who's eyeing the same purse you are, then calculate your first move--to dive or not to dive, that is.  Then when the kind lady in the blue vest says, "Go!" you may dig.  But don't be surprised if someone accidentally hits you in the side of the head with a tennis shoe.  Trust me.  That'll happen too.
4. Hold your friends close and your enemies closer.  That is, be nice to the lady who dove into the shoe bin and got to the cowboy boots before you did.  Next time you see her looking for the match to those cute vintage heels, say, "What shoe are you looking for?"  When she shows you tell her you'll keep an eye out.  Then hold up the shoe you're looking for and ask her to do the same.

It's pronounced like "Louie"

"Mother? Must we always be grownups?"

"Mother?" I asked, after a long day at work.  "Must we always be grownups?"

"Yes," she replied solemnly. "Unless you marry rich!  And then I'm coming too!"

My mom buys me a Coach purse every year.  Last year's was a lovely, little, blue tweed bag.  It's hanging in the special place in my closet.  I do appreciate a good purse.  However, I find that I bang them around so much that I only carry the ones I find at the Goodwill.  I'm not sure, but I think this is why my mom buys me one every year.  

So, as fancy girls, we want to carry a nice purse.  As poor girls we don't want to [can't] pay for it.  So, you have 4 choices: 1) go vintage 2) carry a knockoff  3) carry a no name purse or  4) buy your purse at a garage sale or consignment shop (my last find: a vintage Burberry for $5.  Sorry, ladies, you won't find it at the Goodwill--they consign designer things now). 

If you go with a knock-off choose a nicely constructed Coach or Burberry.  They won't give you away like a Fendi, Louis Vuitton, or Chanel knockoff would--Burlington Coat Factory is notorious for their Fendi and Louis knockoffs. 

However, if you go the garage sale route, you've got to know how to spot a fake because I find more knockoffs than I do legit purses.

Answer the following questions:

First, does it feel good?

Second, is it real or faux leather?

Third, is the stitching straight? Even? Neat?  

Fourth, check the emblem.  Do you see any glue?  Does it look like someone just tacked it on there?

Fifth, check the lining and zippers inside the purse.  On fakes the zippers and lining inside the purse are generally poor quality. 
Sixth, check the hardware.  Is it nice?  

These purses are luxury purses.  If any of these are even slightly amiss it's a fake.  If you even have to wonder if the stitching is straight, stop being hopeful.  It's a fake.  However, if your heart answers yes to these questions then you must check the purse brand by brand.  And, really, if you still find it's a fake, but answered yes to the above questions, it might be so nicely constructed that you wouldn't mind carrying a knockoff.  

How to spot a fake Louis Vuitton (these do not all apply to vintage pieces.  Oh! The complicated lives we lead!):

1. The Louis Vuitton pattern will always continue flawlessly past the seam
2. The straps will tell you a lot.  The Louis Vuitton leather begins to oxidize within about 3 weeks of purchasing it.  As it oxidizes it turns darker.   
3. Look at the fonts on the emblem.  the "o" will be very round.  If it's an oval it's a fake.  
4. The pattern, hardware, and handles create a picture that is symmetrical.  Should any of it appear messy or haphazard it's a fake.

For more information on these bags click here

Click on the following links for more information on how to spot a fake.  Also, Ebay has some great articles on how to spot legit designer bags.

Coach

Chanel

Prada

Burberry

I Love Fleas: 10 steps to the price you want.

So, enough with food.  I know what you really want to know.  How do I buy furniture and china and clothing and all of my favorite things without breaking the bank?  How do I indulge without indulging?  How I buy the things I want for the price I want?  I'll tell you.  We'll start with my favorite place: the flea market.  To my loves at the flea market, please know I respect your work--I am merely a woman operating out of her need to be thrifty and brave.  Remember, ladies, as fancy, poor girls we must always be frugal and never cheap.

First things first.  Keep these things in mind as you go through these steps: You and your vendor share a love of things, particularly the things at the vendor's booth.  Have respect.  This is your vendors job and he needs to make money doing it.  You and your vendor are in a working relationship to make sure that both parties are on the good end of a deal. And last but not least, a smile and silence are your 2 best negotiating tools.

1. Scan the tables for desired objects.

2. When you have located the object of your desire say hello to the vendor, but don't touch the object.  Saying hello is important, as the flea market is not just any market--it's a relationship.  Ask the vendor if they are local or from out of town.  Tell the vendor how lovely his or her things are.  Get them talking to you.

3. Compliment the vendor on lovely items.  Contrary to popular belief, down talking items is not going to get you a better deal--it'll only make the vendor mad.  Remember, you are in a relationship.

4. After the vendor likes you and is watching you pick up at least 4 items and put them down before you pick up your desired item.

5. When the desired item is in your hand look over it and detect any holes, chips, or flaws.

6. ask how much it is.  They will tell you the highest amount they think they can get for it.

7. Find any other items you may want to purchase and find out how much those are before you begin negotiating (I know, I know, it's called haggling.  But haggling sounds so close to hag that I can't bring myself to use it).  Sometimes the price they ask for is a great price and you pay it.  If it's not worth that to you, read numbers eight and nine.  I have divided step # 8 into 4 different scenarios.

8.     A) If the vendor specializes in one particular item, chances are good that he is deeply passionate about that one item (say vintage clothing, china, silver, hardware etc) In this case you may not name your own price, as it might offend.  However you may say, "This piece is beautiful and I really want it.  However, I can't afford that today, would you take any less for it?"  Be silent and wait.  Asking for a lower price is not emberrassing, nor is it out of the ordinary--it's how the flea market works.  

      B) However, if the vendor has a conglomeration of things you may name your price.  Do not ever go below 55% of the named price--it's disrespectful and they will scoff at you and send you on your way.  When the vendor says $10, evaluate the object.  If it's not worth $10 to you, you may say "This piece is beautiful and I really want it.  However, I can't afford that today, would you take $7?"  Then be silent and wait.

    C) This is acceptable for either booth.  If you have multiple items you want to buy from one vendor, ask them to cut you a deal.  If the vendor is specialized he will name the price. If he is not specialized you may name the price.

   D) During step #5 you may have detected a flaw.  You may say, "It's a really lovely piece, but it does have a hole under the arm-pit.  However, I still really like it and would like to try to fix it.  Would you take $6 instead of $10?"

9. Be prepared for the vendor to dislike your price and do not take it personally.  She may say, "No, no.  That's too low.  How about $8?"  If it's worth it to you, do it.  If it's not, ask for $7.  However, she may not go down to $7, in which case you must make the decision to pay the $8 or walk away.

10. Always, always leave on friendly terms.  You never know what the vendor will have at the next flea market.

Fancy Pant-ry: how to eat for less than $20 per week

Fancy girls buy organic.  We buy grass-fed.  We buy artisan.  We buy specialty.  We buy the best of the best.  Fancy poor girls, however, take what is good and make it the best.

You need nourishment.  Without food you’ll fail to be fabulous.  Without fabulous you’ll fail to be fancy.  Without fancy you’ll fail to be yourself.  Good food is a must. In order to maintain a balanced diet one must have the following every day: fruit, veggies, protein, good fat, and fun in her diet.  The latter is essential.  Without weekly fun in her diet, the fancy girl will blow her paycheck on pistachio encrusted lamb, grown locally and organically, cooked to perfection at her favorite artisan restaurant, along with 2 glasses of Petit Syrah (been there.  done that.  $110 before-tip-thank-you-very-much). Just because you don’t have money doesn’t mean you have to suffer.  It merely means you have to A) choose which things to enjoy and B) plan your meals weekly.

what I want to buy in my heart.

What I end up buying and loving just as much

Since we are choosing which things to enjoy, you get to have 2 grocery musts at the beginning of each week (more if you can afford them--less if you cannot). Items such jam, tea, olives, butter, nut butters, nutella, cheese, wine, coffee, beer, meat, and chocolate will come out of your 2 musts. My 2 musts are usually coffee and cheese.  I drink Drews Brews Zappia Family blend religiously.  I enjoy a variety of cheeses, but usually end up buying a Coastal Cheddar, which is one of the cheaper, higher end cheeses.  These 2 musts are not included in the $20.  However, the good news is that there’s a good chance you won’t eat your entire “must” in one week’s time.  So, it’ll roll over into the next week.  

Ok, now down to the nitty gritty of whittling your grocery bill down to $20 a week.  I’ll do a brief overview and will go into depth with a few of these later in this blog.  Ready?

1. Shop at the international market.  Fruits and veggies are cheaper here than at your neighborhood grocery
2. Learn how to cook kale, collards, mustard greens, and parsley--not only are they good for you, but they are 2 to 3 times cheaper than other vegetables.
3. Rice and beans are your friends. Not only are they cheap, but they are good for you and their versatility lends them to a variety of flavors.
4. try to buy your organic veggies and meat at the Farmer’s Market--it’s cheaper to buy straight from the farmer.
5. Instead of buying organic, wash fruits and veggies with a clorox wash or a vinegar/hydrogen peroxide spray to get rid of the pesticides
6. In the fall they sell decorative squash for really cheap--you can eat these.
7. Eat complete proteins: Rice + beans, meat, eggs, nuts, a protein shake, or quinoa (pronounced ken-wa).
8. When a vegetable begins to go bad remove it from the fridge immediately.  It will emit a gas that will cause your other veggies to turn.  Cook it, then freeze it if you are not going to eat it right away.
9. Freeze all leftovers.  Everything can be frozen except for milk, cream, and yogurt.  
10. If you can’t afford your good fats like avocados, oils, nuts, etc, buy a bag of ground flax seed (You can grind it yourself in a coffee grinder, but it must be ground for your body to absorb the nutrients.  Ground flax seed is about $2-4 p/bag).  Eat 2-4 tablespoons of it each day.  This will give you additional fiber as well as your Omega-3 fatty acids.  
11. Don’t skip meals.  It’ll only make you eat unnecessarily at the next meal.  A study was conducted in Turkey during Ramadan/Ramazan (a 3 month religious fast done by Muslims, where no water or food is consumed while the sun is up.  Then when the sun goes down they feast).  They found that those who participated in Ramadan bought and consumed 20% MORE food during Ramadan than they did during the rest of the year.  You must not skip meals to save money.  If you starve you’ll only consume more later. (i.e. lose money, gain weight).
12. If you're up for a little under-cover work you can always ask a Freegan about his or her favorite dumpster.  Though I have done it and don't see much harm in it, I am not endorsing this.  

you can't take the fancy out.

The roof leaked. The window sill was rotting. The floor creaked and caved around the 60 year old heater in the floor. The grass had grown 2 feet tall because I couldn’t afford to put gas into the mower. I sat on my couch, eating my meal du jour, a hot dog and mayonnaise, while I sipped hot water from a Hutschenreuther teacup (Richelieu), signed and numbered “33.” 

Hutschenreuther Richelieu 

Hot dog and Mayonnaise

do these really go together?




















Yes, yes, it is true. Fancy moved out of her parents’ house and into a place of her own, carting only her Hutschenreuther and an old silver spoon she got from her mother. It’s a well known fact that the women in my family can pick out the most expensive thing in the room because it’s the first thing to which we’re drawn. We’re fancy girls. We want it all. And really, let’s be reasonable, what’s the point in having cake if you can’t eat it too? 

And yet, amid all of the frill, there’s the survivor, the warrior, the girl who will stop at nothing for freedom and a love to call her own. Though she may have to trudge through the rain, sell her dresses to buy groceries, hold the soles [souls] of her shoes together with duct tape, and wear mud on her shirts because she can’t afford detergent, she will survive. She will make due. She will rise above and conquer. And she’ll look good doing it. 

This, my friends, is why I present you with the fancy girl’s guide to being poor. Because you can take the girl out of the fancy, but you can’t take the fancy out of the girl.